The Impulse

A man and a woman are at a grocery store.
M: Where is the milk?
W: I don't know lets ask that guy.
M: Do you know where the milk is? 
RP: Uh it is towards the back of the store by the deli.

M: Thank you.

RP: Your welcome.

M: Alright I will push the cart.

W: But I want to push the cart.

M: Well I'm pushing it so your going to have to accept that.

W: No I won't! I'll fight you for it.

M: How?

W: Lets play rock paper scissors to decide who gets to push the cart.

M&W: Rock. Paper. Scissors.

M: Rock.

W: Paper. I win.

Bad Poetry

The Ball

He holds the ball,

Now he runs in the hall,

Wait he is at the mall,

In the ring he is in a brawl,

He fights like Yao Ming.

Now he is sings,

eats some onion rings,

now he is looking for some rats,

zing, zing, now he has a tat.

look at that girl she has a funny hat,

I like bats,

They also look like rats,

Now he puts down the ball.

Direct Orders

You have been given the direct order to rock out. So rock out like you just won the lottery. Like you risked it all and you won it all. Like you are listening to you favorite song. Like you are all alone in your house and you have your music blasted out. Rock out like your favorite team made a buzzer beater to win the game. Like Nelson tries to teach himself how to duggy. Like you just found a one hundred dollar bill in the gutter. Rock out like your favorite team just won a championship. Rock out like you just got your dream car for your birthday. Like your life depended on it. Like it was the last night of your life. So rock out like you have been given the direct order to.

Shake the Dust

This is for everyone who has been fired,
for the kid that is picked last in gym class,
shake the dust, shake the dust.
This is for the abused pets,
for the Forty years olds working at McDonald's,
shake the dust, shake the dust.
This is for everyone who's had there heart broken,
for the people that risked it all and lost,
for the has beens wanting to back in there glory days,
shake the dust, shake the dust.
This is for people who have life threatening diseases,
and for the families of people with life threatening diseases,
for the grieving widows that have just lost there husband,
shake the dust, shake the dust.
This is for the people who don't know where there going in life,
for the high school drop outs,
for the people that feel like they are stuck in a dead end job,
shake the dust, shake the dust.
This is for the homeless,
for the people who just had there house foreclosed and have nowhere to go,
shake the dust, shake the dust.
Don't let your trials take over you. Shake the dust and move on.